Having a bad experience shouldn’t define how we must live our life. This applies in everything in life. You might have had a bad experience at work, then you think that your next experience will be automatically the same. You might have had a bad relationship, a very bad experience then automatically your brain in order to “save you” builds up fences, walls so strong that no one can break.
What is laying though behind this behavior? What is the trigger thought or better say feeling? FEAR! We are afraid to get disappointed again, afraid to be rejected and afraid to get hurt. Have you ever thought what if you are extremely happy? What if you succeed to your dream job?
As Nadia, since I was a child, I never really understood this way of thinking. I was and still am a very curious person. I was that annoying student that kept asking questions to the teachers. Yes, so annoying that at some point they were totally ignoring me!
After my grandad passed away, when was 5 years old, everything changed in my life. My way of thinking shifted and I became obsessed with time. I wanted to do everything before my time comes. Well, it took me many years to harness this energy and fire inside me. My biggest fear in life is to have regrets. What if I have tried? What if I loved and I was happy? What if he was the man of my life? What if …what if…. what if…? When I will die, I want to know that I lived life at its’ fullest or at least I have tried. I attack my fears until I conquer them.
My fear is to live on the safety mode. Safety is like – please take this in a good way – the cowardice in disguise. I need to mention though that I do take calculated risks, I won’t spend all my money because I might die tomorrow, but I do try to enjoy today without being stressed about tomorrow. Sometimes, I do need my close friend to “ground me” a little bit, hence I do my reality checks often.
My question to you then is:
What do you want to remember of you, when you die? And please don’t tell me that you did everything for your family, kids’ happiness blah blah… these are again excuses in disguise for not living your life. You are avoiding reality and life itself. You are “driving” your life on the safety mode.
YOUR LIFE means your life, you as a person, as an individual. Family is other people’s lives not yours. I know that is scary, to dare and take risks, believe me I know. When I decided to go to New York, the only person I knew it was a friend through a friend through a friend etc so basically i didn’t know anyone.
I booked a flight from Cyprus, in Astoria, that I knew in theory that Greek Cypriots were living there, and I thought that it might be helpful to be close to them. When I landed at the JFK Airport, I kneeled and literally kissed the earth. Sounds silly, right? It wasn’t though to me. It was a promise I have made to myself at the age of 5, a promise that one day I will live in New York. After living in New York, after conquering my childhood dream that moment I knew that I could accomplish everything I wanted in life. Also note that after 3 years i knew all the diaspora in New York, participated in many political events lobbying for Cyprus, had lunch in the Capitol Hill and the White House. Met with incredible people and made friends around the globe. Not bad right, that’s why we must try, dare to live!
The last few years I am living in the U.K., a country that despite the fact that I studied here, I never thought I would end up here. So here I am, and I am loving every second of it., savoring every moment.
My conclusion so far in life is that we shouldn’t live our life based on past experiences and allow our fears to ever stop us from living.
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